There are two reasons why I start writing this extravagantly, unusually happy post- the first one being that it was my birthday day before yesterday and I learned something very precious and the second being the pleasure of being the new girl in the city. As I head writing, I’d like to mention that my Bangalore stories are not going to be about the traffic toll or population or the hatred I have towards autos for the number of times I’ve been fooled by them. It has a tinge of the experiences on a personal level. I hope this captures your interest till the very end.
July 8th, 2016 Friday:
I first stepped in Bangalore, not to deny the fact that the city seemed pleasant since the very beginning. Apart from the incident just outside the railway station, where I was fascinated looking at something that closely resembled Kurkure, looked keenly only to spot an eye and realize that it was dried tiny fishes. May be I was more excited to be the “new girl in the city” like Aisha in ‘Wake up Sid’. Since the time I have seen that movie, I wished to write such an article. Well, that’s weird but that’s how it is. I love the way she expressed everything about Mumbai and I wanted to do the same. Long before I had left Ahmedabad, I started envisaging myself in a new city where I’d be independent on a whole another level, and the amount of personal development it would impart just like Ahmedabad did.
So the initial days of finding a place to live in were hell. I wondered how I would survive here but there were two gentle souls who helped me to a great extent in all the difficulties that I faced. One was my dad’s childhood friend and another one was a far off relative- I call my savior and my lifeline in Bangalore. It’s so strange that I had never met these people and still they were doing so much for me. Coming to railway station to pick us up at 3 am and roaming around for about 2 days searching for a place to live without getting irritated was definitely something appreciable. College was fun as expected and I didn’t take much time to seep in. The faculty is amazing but you know what the sad part is, when you’re in your comfort zone and there is not much to worry about, there is less to learn. Moving on to the next phase, as Bangalore is a metropolitan; I met a variety of people coming from different regions of India. I recalled the time when I had difficulty in coping up with Gujarati while my stay in Ahmedabad. I used to feel abandoned and got irritated often hearing a language that was difficult to interpret. And now, I had to deal with Telugu, Tamil, Kannada, Malayalam, Assamese and Bengali all at once. For a person who can relate, knows that it was too much to handle at one go. Surprisingly, I saw myself evolving like a butterfly comes out from a cocoon. I started appreciating the diversity. Four people, four languages sharing one room. Never ever I had seen myself interacting with people so much be it in college or at residence. As I started learning more about them, I realized each one of us had our own story and a handful of goals to achieve. What brought us closer was the fact that we were all miles away from home, in the streets of Bangalore figuring out ways to deal with the routine problems we faced; like a young one of a bird- hastily shaking its wings to try to learn to fly. We all came with our own bags of dreams and a hope to achieve higher in life.
July 10th, 2016 Sunday:
This was the most abnormal part. While children in hostel wish their parents had stayed longer, I partly wished for their departure. Okay, don’t get me wrong here but the real reason was that since months, I had been waiting for this moment, the moment when I’d be out of my comfort zone. I went along with one of my guardians to drop them. Goodbyes are never easy, even when they are just for a while. I could see my mom crying inside and my Dad scared to leave me in the new city; so far off from home. To all the parents who leave their kids out station so that they can fly and achieve what they wish for, nobody has a heart braver than yours and nobody has their trust so firm. Thank you so much. After the train departed, we left for our respective destinations. Honestly, the moment mom dad left, I wanted to step back into my comfort zone. I wanted them to stay. I wanted mom to hug me one more time but it was impossible now. Therefore, I just played safe and prayed to God to save me from a horrifying, lonely, Sunday afternoon. My place was supposedly just half an hour ride from the station but neither of us knew the way. Hence, we kept on roaming around for five hours. My prayer was answered, I suppose. This was the first time we began knowing each other. I thought he’d be that nasty guardian who would keep an eye, but there he was- one of the coolest people I had met off late. I found my first friend in him that day, a friend who just made me fall in love with the place all the more, a friend whose mere presence was so comforting, and a friend who never let me feel that I was alone. As it was too late while we reached, we decided to go out for lunch together and delay it all the more. I had already received about 20 calls from home enquiring if I had reached. They were worried and scared and even I was supposed to feel the same but fortunately, the vibe of the person sitting next to me was just too comforting. Gradually over the days, the call frequency decreased as I began settling down like the dust after a storm.
July 17th, 2016 Sunday:
A week had gone by without much chaos or struggle but here was the big deal. A Sunday where you have nowhere to go, nobody to talk much with, nothing to buy but a whole city to explore even though you’re not much aware of the routes and places. Well, I decided to stay back home. My room had a strange environment. The three other girls barely talked initially, even though they were staying with each other for quite long. I thought to myself, “There isn’t even the luxury to rant about the food with anyone.” Over the week, I had come to know one of them whom, I found a little better than the rest. She worked for Amazon. Little did I know her, but we soon shared a great bond. That Sunday was her last weekend with us as she was about to shift to a new place. It hadn't been much long that we had been together but I didn’t want her to leave. I was more scared of losing a company who’d eat the same filthy food with me, share the fruit juice and a walk at night, who’d share those looks when there was that awkward silence in the room or share her experience of stepping out of home for job. That Sunday, we just put on some music while she was busy packing and I was busy studying. This day is still the best Sunday spent so far for no particular reason. But I believe that talking can be comfortable with many but there are rare whose silence is not discomfited.
The growing bond…
It had been so many days since I hadn’t had good food. My taste buds had gone numb and very honestly, the Ahmedabad hostel was million times better than this. I know I’ve always cribbed about food but I wish I could help it. I planned to go to the Gurudwara with my first and the only friend, I explore Bangalore with. And very happily, he never denied the fact that he went there to have ‘langar’ very often. Well, he has been a rescuer when it comes to hostel food. Firstly, the Sunday lunch, then the Gurudwara and then an ice cream treat. We never ran short of stories to be narrated and things to be shared and of course, the places to be visited. Very cunningly, I had bragged about my love for driving bikes, the fascination of owning one which kind of faded, after I drove his and met with an accident. He is so wonderful that he still kept on encouraging me to drive but my hands were trembling. Well, he continues being a friend who entertains my poor jokes and lame wishes to go to a club while my exams are going on. I still sometimes wonder how he took my silly things so seriously.
July 30th, 2016 Saturday:
It is 20:00 and my heart was still racing, even past an hour and a few minutes. I was still getting those anxiety laughs. This was clearly Bangalore’s first anxiety attack. I could laugh at the fatuity of the incident now, but just a few moments ago, I could hear my heart beat till my ears. It had just been 20 days since I was exploring, enjoying, making new bonds and meeting new people. One of these hilarious, unprecedented and crazy person got everyone out their seats that night. Till now, we had begun sharing our food, clothes, playlists and juices and hence this anxiety attack as well. She made us do what we hadn’t ever done.
I said, half panting, “This is the first time I am entering a Police Station.”
Sangeeta, “Even me”
Amreen, “Dude, my first time was just few moments ago”
Now before you people set out your wild imaginations to hunt, I’d like to mention that we were no criminals or suspects, just three students going to file an FIR for a lost iPhone. As ridiculously ordinary as it might sound, she had forgotten her phone in an auto. I can gladly take the credit for writing a complaint letter while both of them tracked the phone’s location. Not to brag, but yes, we did most of the work ourselves. We were just a uniform away from becoming police officers that day. Lately that night, after getting an innocent beaten up till finally getting the phone back, we were dead tired and decided to rejoice on the Maggie I made and give CID titles to each other. What was special about this incident you might just ask? Well, there was a time when we all were anxious and scared; when Amreen’s mom and grandmother started crying when her phone wasn’t reachable; when I thought I was too immature/young to handle a situation like this; when we faced the situation where two girls had to go along with a young official late at night and it freaking scared the hell out of us. More importantly, in all the mess I was thinking about my Dad, about home. I didn’t want to put myself into unnecessary trouble being some 2000 miles away. I called Dad to ask what should we do but there was no response. But anyway, we managed to find the phone and ourselves safe before 12 am. Phew! that was a big deal. I never really knew we could deal with it so smoothly.
August 21st, 2016 Sunday:
No matter where you are, the happiness after the examinations end doesn’t change. I had just finished my first exam in Carmel and was all set to celebrate Rakshabandhan. Oh yes! Days later, because while everyone was busy celebrating, I was busy studying Biomolecules. I was not home on Rakshabandhan for the first time but it wasn’t that bad as I have a piece of my family even here- my bhaiya and bhabhi. Though we were celebrating it days later, we had an amazing time together. There was not even one moment when I felt that I was meeting this lovely lady (my bhabhi) for the first time. We had met earlier but for a very short time and from that I recall she makes yummy bhajias. The reason I chose to write about this day, was her. She is flawless; a lady I can look up to, a lady whose every bit leaves me inspired. If work be a piece of cake, she definitely has the biggest share of it. And bravery, my dear, is when even after a long day’s work, she returns home with a smile bigger than ever. She plays like a child with her daughter who eagerly waits for her mommy to return home and it is so appreciable that she the little one is never disappointed. Looking at her, I realize that there is so much that the society expects from a woman and she has been tremendously caring, loving and thoughtful. Hats off to you superwoman!
Few days later…
Humans always suffer with mood swings and I did the same. So far, everything was manageable but now, things got out of hand. I lost some old friends and wasn’t attached to new ones so far except one. I felt low but tried hard to keep my calm. I got thoughts of changing my career plans and what not, but I kept on hoping for it to get better. Classes had turned boring after the fest and freshers' week had ended. My birthday was approaching and sadly the one whom I wanted to celebrate with, had gone home. I thought I’d go on a date with myself not because I was turning a lonely lunatic but because I really needed to spend some time with myself. I wanted a hot chocolate with Vanilla and a good book and some peace after these long hectic weeks where I worked so much.
I was excited. I was finally going to be 21. I wanted a new dress. I wanted a new look. I wanted to look young. I wanted to slay. This was quite not how most of my acquaintances’ expect me to be. Bangalore was bringing out a hidden personality and I pretty much liked it.
Damn! I just found out that 9th of September would be a strike again. I had had enough of this bullshit already and I was super agitated when I found out all my plans were ruined. For God’s sake, I had been thinking about the day since a year back. I used to wonder where I’d be on my next birthday, whom would I celebrate it with and in which part of Earth and Wow! What an amazing news this was. I knew I’d be locked up in my hostel room. Birthday party venue: Sanjaynagar, Bengaluru, India. PS:- Outsiders not allowed. It’d surely be a great day.
September 9th, 2016 Friday:
Let me just read out my diary because I made sure not to miss an emotion that day. I didn’t sleep before turning everything into words.
“It is time for vague optimism. A 24 hour day seemed shorter. There was no hurry, nowhere to go, nothing to see outside the boundaries of these yellow painted hostel walls, but sometimes all you need to do is just look around and find a reason to believe that you are special, that you are loved, that you occupy space and hence you MATTER. Today on my birthday, I just couldn’t find time to stop counting my blessings. How amazingly mom dad had planned to wish me first. The number of people wanting to wish me first, the way people I thought were not so attached took efforts to get a cake at midnight just to make the moment more special. While I was away from home, the amount of Facebook, Instagram and Whatsapp messages and posts flooding in left me speechless. I just looked back for a moment and thought that few days back I was thinking I’d be alone and here I was, couldn’t even spare a moment with myself because the number of loving people God has showered me with. May be a part of me would just say that it isn’t a big deal if 1 day out of 365 is spared to make u feel special, but amid the busy life and all the problems that the universe has to offer, we do forget to express our love. I wonder how we mean so much to so many people but we never realize why. I thank each one of you who took out a moment to wish me and make my day so much more special. To the poem and the messages and posts, to a stranger who took me out for the ice cream, to the room mate who spared time for a walk, to the others who got the cake, to the one who troubled me by not wishing me when I expected the most out of him, to all the unexpected phone calls, to the family members for unconditional love and to the most amazing parents and sister who gave me this life, I thank you all beautiful souls. I am me because of your love, because of your contributions, because of your time that you invest in me.”
PC: Google Images
To all the people who are reading this, when you feel low, just step out and look around. God has blessed us with angels in disguise and there are not one, but many reasons to believe life is beautiful and worth living, and that you are precious and amazing no matter what. While I wind up with this unusually long post, I feel the pressure to narrate another small incident before signing off. This might have happened with a lot of you but it somehow demands my attention. A few days back, I was waiting for my bus to arrive. There was a young gentleman sitting on my right. An old lady came up peeping to look for the bus. He immediately got up and offered her to sit. Well, that little act of kindness touched me. It is common and still rare. Yes, kind people are hard to find. And I am glad I just gathered all my courage to go up to him and say, “I really appreciate your sensitivity towards people. Thank you!” I am sure I made his day while he left a bit of me happy and inspired.This sounds like an acknowledgement page but I really wanted to take a moment to count my blessings and I just hope reading this provokes you to count yours. For the people who say I always bring in light, I don’t know if this ray would be as bright and I realize I am being awfully dubious these days about my posts but I’m sure you’ll forgive me for that.
