Across the bridge

PART # 1

There is an anxiety which never vacates the room in my heart. All the hustle-bustle on the street, the lavish cars and brightly lit showrooms showcasing the best designer wears feels so hollow. There is a time when most of the children dream of a lavish lifestyle. It is like a gleam that could be seen to have a piece of moon.The life across the bridge (a literal one known as Ellis bridge in Ahmedabad)- the glistening streets , the showrooms, expensive, unaffordable stuff all well fitted in those rooms. All for what? For us to have them or for them to define us?

I saw a mannequin wearing an expensive dress being stared by a homeless girl. Her eyes had a gleam as if telling me that somewhere in her heart she knew it was beyond her reach. She could only stare at it from the other side of the glass door. It was such a strong metaphor for people on the other side of the bridge. While they try hard to fill their stomach, they also crave for these unattainable things.

If I talk about people, all of them are busy in their own lives sparing little or no time for what’s really essential i.e, the loved ones. Old parents live in old age homes. Their children are busy earning money for cars, digital media and other luxuries but little do they have for their parents. I wish they had thought, just once, ‘What if parents put their children in foster homes?’ I am sure the answer would have sent shrivels down their spine.

People who are struggling to meet ends; people who are working for their families; people who work so much and still barely make sure that their family does not sleep empty stomach; people who have to sacrifice basic necessities at times; people whose mere survival is at stake; people who are poverty stricken. This was the story of the other side of the bridge.

I have written this just to bring out the realities of two sides of the city. What if the bridge was not just a physical connective? What if some people were able to see things beyond money? I wish these rhetorical questions are some day thought seriously about.

PART # 2

The other day I entered the classroom almost banging my bag on the bench, complaining about the poor quality of food in my hostel, the injustice a professor continued to do, the hectic schedules we were having those days and all the unreasonable things around. I remember not being able to concentrate on what the professor taught that day. As a daily habit, I went to visit somebody during the break. That special person is a teacher, a counselor, a friend, a perfectionist and the best person I had met lately. While we were talking, a pretty, young woman knocked the office door. She came in and gave the details of the behavior of her students in class, lately. She seemed quite sincere and hard-working. She spoke in fluent English. She was a new faculty member who taught English to the science students. I squinted to have a look while she was busy talking to the other person in the room. She was slender, with average height, short hair, her hair probably pinned up, beautiful eyes wearing mascara and she was casually dressed. No sooner than she left, my eyes were filled with tears. Realization and consternation struck me hard. The woman I just described was a cancer survivor. To be very honest, the charm and spark she carried somehow defeated the reality. Even her blood cancer could not screw her ambitions.She could have chosen to crib about it, she could have chosen to loose hope. She could have chosen to die, which was much easier but she chose to be brave, she chose to have faith. She fought, she survived and here she was- living her life to the fullest in spite of the circumstances. After so much struggle, she was working hard. She did not let her situations define her.

I really adored her from that moment, for whatever she was. These words are probably too less to describe her beauty. Nobody can match the beauty of a survivor. Some people leave us, may be for better and they are as beautiful because they struggle till the end. When did you last feel gratitude for your health and well-being? For the beautiful evening that you spent last time? For everything good that you have? Just few moments back, my mind was occupied with umpteen trivial issues. I gave reasons for not being able to do well instead of passion for work. I found it so hard to stop ranting about how I wasted one year of my college life by losing two or three good opportunities. All this was so immaterial, but still we let it rule our mood, our love for self, our day and our lives. Her mere appearance washed it all. She rekindled a new spirit of hope and I did not know how to thank her. She became the bridge. This bridge of inspiration, of realization was so necessary to be traveled. She helped me cross that unproductive phase which brought peace and motivation. She was a gift to me, I might say. I am sure she is doing wonders for others as well after all, life is too short to keep regrets. She is also helping other cancer patients to share their story so that they can imbibe a spirit of hope and bravery.

This new year let us all take a pledge to cross bridges. To grow together!

Diary Entry #1

Sugar and Spice

There was a time in my life,

Some fate, a whim of God

took everything away.

That knowing look and loving glance,

And signs of love, kisses and laughs;

The moments of happiness and kiddish talks,

The hands that held in times of pain,

All those miseries and cries in pain,

All went in vain.

I didn't imagine the impact that my loss would make

How to start anew, which direction to take?

One way to go,

But I was lost in shadow.

And then, as if to ease my pain

And to remove me from my hell,

Along came this gentle soul,

To heal me and make me hale

With his smiles and lots of love and care.

I thank God for giving me

Not once in life, but twice;

The chance to have two special souls

One sugar and one spice!

Hoping he'd make it more special

By giving back my sugar along with my spice

If not possible in this life, I wish it for my next life.

Very few, yet adequate

I am amazed how some writers express their views in just a few words/sentences. Different kinds of writings have never failed to intrigue me hence, I decided to execute this experiment. Very few, yet adequate. I chose this particular title, as I have tried to write short stories, one of them being just a 6-word story.

• I could feel the comfort of his arms, only till I was asleep.

• Her mellifluous voice was buried. Forever.

• She kept feeding the toxic plant; their flowers had once provided comfort. She feared complete dissolution.

• She could not wait for the time when they would live together and each moment she would fall in love with him all over again. The only conundrum being that she could not afford that teddy.

• "My life is incomplete without you," she read the letter merrily and kept it safe.She clung to the statement and fought with her parents and with a firm belief in his words until she saw him mocking over her grief.

• "I will be there," he wrote while he was drunk.She reopened her eyes only to see herself falling from the cliff.

• Her life ended. It rained heavily. The universe mourned along with me for my better half.

• She wanted to talk; but she preferred writing. She lost faith in people and befriended books.

• Once she got acquainted with the same pain, she wished to suck it all from her dad. She loved him.

• I think she relied on me to save her, to bring her out of the hell she was being seeped in, oblivious of the fact that I was a mere human, incapable of performing miracles.

• She was afraid of the dawn and mistook the heaven for hell, for it was God performing the deed to set her free.

• Advent of dusk brought her home where one day we all shall go, this shall keep me neat as one day I know we are bound to meet.

P.S- The last two stories came as a reply for the one above them. It is not written by me. Rest of them are self-written. Feedback is valuable. Thank you for reading.

Are you comfortable?

Comfort- (noun) state or situation in which you are relaxed and do not have any physically unpleasant feelings caused by pain, heat, cold,etc.
Are you comfortable with yourself?What if you are taken out from where you are, lose people whom you love? Will you be able to manage to stay happy? Not wanting other people to validate you? No matter whoever it be- your parents, friends or life partner? How long can anyone wait for validation? How patient can you be? How long can you live in a state of mind- with that wait, that void to be filled?
 No matter how hard we try to change somebody's mind, but their soul is something that remains beyond our reach.  Each one of us has come for our own journey with a purpose to be served before we die. How about concentrating on that? How about spending time on self- development?How about enriching the mind with beautiful experiences- be it travel or good fictional reads although it is unreal. So what? It does not matter unless it is not intoxicating your soul. Some people are destructive not only towards others but also themselves. Pondering over what anybody commented is a waste. Even if you don't give attention to it, you cannot deny the fact that it leads your actions at times. That may be productive for some people but not for all.You think a job offer from a good company can answer your worthiness?  How abrupt is that! Just realize that it will all be useless. They will never give you a ray of hope, sooner or later, you will have to give up. How hard you try, will never be hard enough. Your efforts will only return in disdain.
  You are not made up of words that hurt you. Or the expectations that you feel you will never meet. You are made up of nothing more than you. Love yourself. No matter how hard it is, it is not impossible. Get comfortable in this moment. Stop procrastinating or waiting for things to happen even if you are working hard to achieve them. Keep telling yourself that you are intelligent, worthy, desirable, loving, compassionate, inspiring and brave.
We can be with others without using them as means of escape. We can work towards our goals without the urge for validation. We can be happy with what we have.

"You have to find yourself before anyone else can find you, love yourself before you can be loved,believe in your future to be a part of someone's future."
-Unknown

Breakup apology

There is a strange silence that flows and still we know everything,

though with a heavy heart,

we choose to separate our paths

where nothing will be like before 

and knowing it can't even be,

even if it is wanted the most.

I remained dry eyed until now, as dry as smoked fish, but my heart is a kind of dirty soft custard inside. I am not sad, rather stunned, not really believing you are now so far. I never realized our bond was so special unless I had to break up with you. I was forced to. I thought I would be very happy, but as days passed by, I started missing you incessantly. Never ever in my life I have felt so nostalgic. I remember how comfortable, effortlessly delightful and friendly I had been with you. I regret the fact that I never really appreciated the things that you did for me. Though initially, our relationship was forced to be and then, at times I felt that I didn't fit in with you, but now, I can laugh at the fatuity of my own thoughts. Nothing can suit me the best and I feel so exultant of having stayed with you. Those were definitely the best days of my life. You did things to mould my future when everything was so dubious. I adore the concern you showed for me.

You gave me the hope and optimism that escorts me at every moment and helps me to overcome the most difficult situations. I love you, forever and a day. I was distressed at times because of your unruly behavior. I always thought of the other options I could have. I thought I deserved even better unless I recognized the fact that there is none like you. You made me what I am today. 

Amid all my worries and ample of sorrows,

How without any complaints,

Without any issues,

and without any comments,

You just listened to me,

like a best friend.

Paved way for me to spend time with you

and let me know

how strong, brave and beautiful I am and I can be. 

And now when I look at  you, you ensnare my soul, my heart melts and it is as if I am falling in love with you every second, longing for the day I can be back with you.

The past could not be any better. I know that even now when I come, your doors are gladly open to meet all my needs and wants and I hope this tenderness and friendship will never ever desert me.

I owe you so much.
I am gratified for trivialist of the things.
Baby, I will always hold you fondly in my heart.
I love you, my school.... Sophia (Mount Abu).. and I miss yuh :(